What is BDSM? {art Three
S&M – Sadism and Masochism; Whips, canes, nipple clamps and all the wonderful things that are designed to cause greater or lesser degrees of pain are used. Trust is a powerful decision you make when you submit to someone else who wants to hurt you. It is a powerful gesture, which you alone as the submissive can make and the dominant has to show that you can trust him/her. Pain is not really pain anymore in the game of S&M. When it is administered with true skill the dominant can bring the submissive to new heights of ecstasy that may never have been experienced before.
Knowing a few friends who are heavily into BDSM, they have always commented on a Safe word. With Joe he has a couple of safewords his first is magic. Now I know this is a strange word to use, but it works for both of us. Joe said he took himself into a world of fantasy, where there were merlins and dragons and magic. So this was his word Magic is used when the session becomes a intense and he wants me to reduce the pain and his word for stop, I’ve had enough, this is too much now is red as in red light, means stop.
Sally and Sam are into BDSM more so than my light B&D sessions with Peter their words are: Amber! meaning lighten up a bit, it’s just a bit too intense. From what they told me back then, they haven’t had to use their special words very often as Sally seems to be able to handle all most anything that Sam has planned for her. They too use red! for stop had enough, want out now!
The pleasure and pain threshold is very different, as I said before Sally goes into a trance like state and the pleasure that she experiences, well she says that no words can describe the feelings. With these two friends, it is true what they say Pleasure and Pain, it’s all the same
Sally and Sam both told me that sometimes people experience a session when they feel that they have had enough that the pain is just too intense, but continue on anyway until they have had enough they say that you have to trust the dominant in all aspects of this relationship, and if you have had enough then trust them not to be angry or hurt that you don’t want to proceed At the same time if you are with a dominant you are unsure of and you are not comfortable with what is happening, for example they maybe paddling or whipping you too hard or it just doesn’t feel good anymore then use your safeword It means please stop now.
Safewords are taken seriously; they are a safety valve so use them when you feel that the time is right to do so. Here comes that word trust again too if your dominant partner doesn’t respect your safeword for what it is then it means that they won’t respect your limitations either. Personally after what Sally and Sam have told me about trusting people, if I came across someone who didn’t respect this all important word then I would lose the trust in him as a dominant
I remember asking Sally the question of what happens if gags are used such as ball gags, and she said that she is always given a bright yellow hanky or piece of cloth always bright yellow so that it can be seen. It is placed in her hand and if she becomes uncomfortable in anyway that she feels that the session needs to be stopped then she lets the hanky or cloth fall to the ground.
She told me that there was a time when she was being dominated and they were going to experience a new session with nipple clamps, she was laid across a table and then tied to it so she was almost in the star or cross position. Her hands and feet were bound to the legs of that table. Sam put in place the nipple clamps. With her open revealing her clit, he teased her to give her the pleasure and pain that she enjoyed.
It was at that moment of pleasure that Sam’s master came in the one that was training him, Sally trusted him she said and it was decided that he would perform the following whippings on Sally
It was interesting listening to Sally telling the story but Sam popped up and said that you could see Sally go into her trance with the pleasure and pain with the Master whipping the insides of her legs where Sam had gently touched her earlier.
Something happened in those few seconds, Sally dropped her yellow hanky and immediately the session ended the nipple clamps removed, she was untied and helped to her feet slowly
The three of them sat down and discussed what had happened and even though she was enjoying the session, her body failed to enjoy that one session for a reason that Sally could not explain.
A following session of the same sort have gone ahead without any stopping, even down to a wax session.
As you can see this is an overview of BDSM. In fact it is not everything and I still haven’t really answered the question that was asked earlier. Where do I belong in the BDSM scene?
I am now a mistress who will perform light BDSM on men who come to see me but at the same time I have two slaves who encourage me to punish them severely. For one slave CBT (cock and ball torture) is often performed in our sessions together. But that is another article waiting to be written.
Until next time, be good and enjoy!
Marie