Category: BDSM Topics

What is BDSM? All you need to know about BDSM and BDSM contacts.

I remember when Sally and Sam performed their D&S for me in a photo shoot for a website that I ran. They arrived as a normal couple, laughing, joking but for some reason you could tell that Sam was already in control. When it was time he told Sally to prepare herself in her special outfit that he wanted to see her in and she didn’t hesitate when it came to the warming up session.

The sounds that came from the room were deafening and would have made anyone walking by cringe in disbelief and all through it, not a sound was spoken as Sam dominated Sally.

Her cute bottom was a lovely shade of red, but not one cry escaped her lips at all. She was in a trance like state and yet Sam was able to move her into different positions. He shackled her hands and feet to strange and wonderful contraptions, almost as if she were hogtied but with her pussy open for him Her bottom was exposed for more of his teasing and punishment that he was prepared to put her through.

Amidst the pain came the pleasure. Sam loved teasing Sally with his fingers, gently brushing her curly black pubes and occasionally slipping his finger between her velvety pussy lips but not for long He loved to tease and please her; after all it was the pleasure and the pain that Sally enjoy most. While Sam loved giving her as much pleasure and pain that she could stand.

It often took Sally a few moments to return to reality. Coming back from that trance often took a little time but when she did it was only in time for Sam to dominate her again by slipping his cock into her dripping pussy and demanding she ride him hard.

I was surprised to see how intent Sally was on bucking up to me her ‘Master’ and to please him as best as she could and more.

Back in 2002 I really wasn’t into BDSM so it was interesting to find lots of information on the net about it and it gave me a chance to think back to my friends. Sam was taught by another Master all the right ways to whip, paddle and inflict pain without causing serious injury to Sally. Sally was the submissive and was pleased to be there while Sam learnt the art for her pleasure.

While my friends go on to enjoy their pleasure and pain let me talk about other things involved when it comes to BDSM. Now that I have talked about the dominate and submissive (well I briefly covered it) lets look at other areas of BDSM.

You have been a very naughty girl! he declared I am going to have to tie you up and spank your bottom!

This is B&D bondage and discipline. Some people enjoy playing punishment games. Don’t you love it when your partner or Master or Mistress takes control when you’ve been naughty?

Many years ago I had a client who came to see me. I’ll call him Joe, for obvious reasons. He loved to be dominated and when he arrived to see me he would tell me about his week. If he had been bad at all he would always tell me. Now back then I really wasn’t into pain myself, but he needed to be punished for his wrong doings and he looked to me for that.

I did things a little differently back them. I let him set his own punishment. But first I would give him a choice of paddle or whip for me to use. Once that was decided the session began. I loved teasing him too, so I would run my hand over his ass where I had whipped or paddled him. For some reason he got great satisfaction from being punished and I enjoyed telling him off and punishing him for his wrong doings.

What is BDSM part 3

What is BDSM? All you need to know about BDSM and BDSM contacts.

The term BDSM encompasses a wide range of sexual and sensual activities, including power/role playing, sensory games ranging from teasing to intense “pain,” and much more. This style of sexuality has received a lot of attention in recent years, and is undergoing an explosion of creativity and growth.

When I was asked to write articles about BDSM, mistresses, slaves and submissives, I first thought where, do I start. Writing about each individual part of the alternative lifestyles was just too hard to do before writing this article first. It gives me the opportunity to work my way through the different parts or sections of BDSM so that you as a reader can follow me as you go.

Where do I belong in the BDSM scene? Well many years ago I could never have been anything within it. I certainly wasn’t into pain and I was never one who could inflict any sort of pain on any one. Just over two years ago when I was writing various columns and articles for people I thought I’d travel down a path that I rarely ventured down. I began looking on the internet for sites that were bizarre and for sites that included dungeons.

Ok so some of you may not feel that that is a strange combination, but for me back then it was. You see I love it when I go looking for different things and in doing so sometimes it can bring back lots of memories. What I found was a fantasy world of dungeons and dragons; a game I remember my ex-brother-in-law playing once a week with five other guys. The mystery and the secrecy of what happened in that game had always baffled me

BDSM encompasses consensual explorations of sensation and/or power dynamics, and includes Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism. Whether you want to tie up your sweetie, act the part of the dominant, or get a nice spanking, you’re in good company. Plenty of people like BDSM because playing with power can be exciting, releasing, erotic, and just plain old fun.

However that wasn’t really what I was looking for. I was more interested in looking at the life of BDSM. A couple of friends that were heavily into the swinging scene and they participate in this form of sexual gratification. I’ll call these two people Sally and Sam due to privacy reasons

Sally was very submissive and Sam was the dominant one of the two. To see them in action was often very mystifying. Quite often during their ‘sessions’ together Sally would go into a trance, into a world far away; she was so tied up in the pain that the pleasure she received from Sam’s whippings and the pain of her seduction was something beyond belief. I couldn’t comprehend what satisfaction she got out of being subjected to such pain.

I did learn however that you had to trust the person that they were submitting to and that they place themselves under the power of another in sexual context. Sally and Sam fell into the area of D&S The submissive, Sally allows the dominant, Sam to use her body for his pleasure. They play an erotic power game where they both get off on the thrill of controlling and the other being controlled…..

What is BDSM? {art Three

S&M – Sadism and Masochism; Whips, canes, nipple clamps and all the wonderful things that are designed to cause greater or lesser degrees of pain are used. Trust is a powerful decision you make when you submit to someone else who wants to hurt you. It is a powerful gesture, which you alone as the submissive can make and the dominant has to show that you can trust him/her. Pain is not really pain anymore in the game of S&M. When it is administered with true skill the dominant can bring the submissive to new heights of ecstasy that may never have been experienced before.

Knowing a few friends who are heavily into BDSM, they have always commented on a Safe word. With Joe he has a couple of safewords his first is magic. Now I know this is a strange word to use, but it works for both of us. Joe said he took himself into a world of fantasy, where there were merlins and dragons and magic. So this was his word Magic is used when the session becomes a intense and he wants me to reduce the pain and his word for stop, I’ve had enough, this is too much now is red as in red light, means stop.

Sally and Sam are into BDSM more so than my light B&D sessions with Peter their words are: Amber! meaning lighten up a bit, it’s just a bit too intense. From what they told me back then, they haven’t had to use their special words very often as Sally seems to be able to handle all most anything that Sam has planned for her. They too use red! for stop had enough, want out now!

The pleasure and pain threshold is very different, as I said before Sally goes into a trance like state and the pleasure that she experiences, well she says that no words can describe the feelings. With these two friends, it is true what they say Pleasure and Pain, it’s all the same

Sally and Sam both told me that sometimes people experience a session when they feel that they have had enough that the pain is just too intense, but continue on anyway until they have had enough they say that you have to trust the dominant in all aspects of this relationship, and if you have had enough then trust them not to be angry or hurt that you don’t want to proceed At the same time if you are with a dominant you are unsure of and you are not comfortable with what is happening, for example they maybe paddling or whipping you too hard or it just doesn’t feel good anymore then use your safeword It means please stop now.

Safewords are taken seriously; they are a safety valve so use them when you feel that the time is right to do so. Here comes that word trust again too if your dominant partner doesn’t respect your safeword for what it is then it means that they won’t respect your limitations either. Personally after what Sally and Sam have told me about trusting people, if I came across someone who didn’t respect this all important word then I would lose the trust in him as a dominant

I remember asking Sally the question of what happens if gags are used such as ball gags, and she said that she is always given a bright yellow hanky or piece of cloth always bright yellow so that it can be seen. It is placed in her hand and if she becomes uncomfortable in anyway that she feels that the session needs to be stopped then she lets the hanky or cloth fall to the ground.

She told me that there was a time when she was being dominated and they were going to experience a new session with nipple clamps, she was laid across a table and then tied to it so she was almost in the star or cross position. Her hands and feet were bound to the legs of that table. Sam put in place the nipple clamps. With her open revealing her clit, he teased her to give her the pleasure and pain that she enjoyed.

It was at that moment of pleasure that Sam’s master came in the one that was training him, Sally trusted him she said and it was decided that he would perform the following whippings on Sally

It was interesting listening to Sally telling the story but Sam popped up and said that you could see Sally go into her trance with the pleasure and pain with the Master whipping the insides of her legs where Sam had gently touched her earlier.

Something happened in those few seconds, Sally dropped her yellow hanky and immediately the session ended the nipple clamps removed, she was untied and helped to her feet slowly

The three of them sat down and discussed what had happened and even though she was enjoying the session, her body failed to enjoy that one session for a reason that Sally could not explain.

A following session of the same sort have gone ahead without any stopping, even down to a wax session.

As you can see this is an overview of BDSM. In fact it is not everything and I still haven’t really answered the question that was asked earlier. Where do I belong in the BDSM scene?

I am now a mistress who will perform light BDSM on men who come to see me but at the same time I have two slaves who encourage me to punish them severely. For one slave CBT (cock and ball torture) is often performed in our sessions together. But that is another article waiting to be written.

Until next time, be good and enjoy!

Marie

Part Two – What is been a sub? What is a submissive? Whats the differance betwwen a submissive and a slave?

Just like a Master or a Mistress is treated well, I’d like to think and I believe that all submissives be treated the same. I respect my submissive Jeremy and I trust him to trust me. He offered his body to me, to do as I pleased, I take him to places he has never been before and then some. We discuss where we want to go during our special time together and if at any stage I know he doesn’t like something I stop.

I never expect him to address me as Mistress Marie or even Lady Marie, a true Dom should never ever demand respect they command it and for some reason I believe they earn it.

Always remember that submissives are true people, they have their own identity and they do have a voice, so listen to them and they will listen, respect and look to you for guidance. And remember that just like a real couple, both partners have to trust each other completely. Trust trust to me is knowing, one’s limits, being honest to each other’s needs, communicating and sharing.

If that trust is not there, then just like a real partnership, a real couple it can almost be stopped dead in its tracks and it can fail. Most of us already know what happens or have heard of someone that has been in a relationship that has failed it can mean, physical and emotional issues develop and that is not good.

Now not all submissives are into pain. However some limitations can be set with a Master or Mistress pushing those limits or boundaries to see how far you or other submissives can go. In each session I have with Jeremy I push the boundaries because even though he says he has no boundaries or limitations, I do not want to go too far with him, until I know he can appreciate and accept the pleasure and the pain that I am prepared to give.

I’ve written many words since I was asked that question what happens if a submissive says no well let me say that I honestly don’t believe a submissive should be punished if the Dom / Master / Mistress has pushed the boundaries or the limits too far and the submissive can not handle or accept the demand, the order or the request. However having said that, a submissive should be disciplined or punished if he or she does something wrong failing to do that is a failure on the part of the Dom, Master or Mistress. A submissive should never be punished for something that is out of his or her control.

As the relationship between Dom and submissive grow and the limitations seem to be less, the punishment should also be less as time goes on of course the challenge for the Dom is to train the submissive so that the punishment eventually is very rare.

I’ll finish this article here, only because there is so much more to tell

In my next article I will discuss the safeword, different submissives, pain and pleasure along with safety and health issues.

Until then

Marie

What is been a sub? What is a submissive? Whats the differance betwwen a submissive and a slave?

Submission: The act of submitting to the power of another: “Oppression that cannot be overcome does not give rise to revolt but to submission” Simone Weil.
It was only recently that my partner asked me what the difference was between a submissive and a slave Until then I thought I really knew the answer but then I thought I should go and find out more information to help me explain how I see a submissive to be, and for those who think they are submissive don’t forget to read an article written by Sandoula To sub or not to sub?

You see there is one guy who comes to see me and from the word go he has always told me that he is my slave and then I have another who is submissive to me. He will endure anything I do to him and more. Each session takes on a new look and feel and something else is tried on him I push his limitations and his boundaries. He submits to me and allows me to play with him.

But my slave (I’ll call him Mike) is different. From day one he has always referred to himself as my slave. From that very first phone call he asked if he could be my slave and he calls me Mistress Marie.

We should stay focused here on submissives, so we’ll talk about my slave, Mike in another article and we’ll focus on Jeremy, my submissive and submissives in general for now.

If anyone is interested in being dominant or submissive then before you begin you should read lots of information on the subject, talk to other dominants and submissives. You will no doubt find a lot of different styles, techniques and ideas and always remember that you will never find one dominant or a submissive the same.

Being submissive means that you the submissive turn your power, control and body over to the dominant and in return the dominant takes on a role where he or she ensures that the relationship between both of you will keep growing and developing. Your role is to satisfy and please your Dom, Master or Mistress. It is interesting to note here that a submissive and his or her dominant will follow instructions and some training but only within the agreed limits and boundaries that have been set.

As a submissive you need to discuss with your Master or Mistress, how far the domination over you goes. This varies from couple to couple, every submissive and dominant is unique. So before you take on the role as a submissive, find out how far the dominant wants to go when controlling you. There are some dominants that wish or want to control every aspect of their submissive’s life. This may include; your contact with your family, friends and even your career and your recreational periods.

The ultimate goal of a submissive is to please their Master or Mistress as I said before but at the same time, your Master or Mistress’ gets his or her pleasure through taking control and having power over a submissive.

My partner and I walked along the beach discussing what rights a submissive has. In fact one question that my partner asked was; what happens, if a submissive says no to her or his Master or Mistress? Interestingly it wasn’t until I started writing this article that that question really sunk in.

What does happen if a submissive says no? To me, and remember this is my own opinion and it is not law I believe that a submissive and dominant should discuss the limitations of the submissive. The submissive should know before hand how far he or she wants to be dominated and what is ok to do and what is not ok. In my opinion I believe that a submissive has a right to have a say in what will happen to them.

So to answer that question, just like the submissive should respect his or her Dom, the Dom should also show some respect to the submissive.

Submissives are special, they are prepared to give themselves to their Master or Mistress and if the Dom is not someone who believes that they are not the most righteous person on this earth then the submissive will respect them and offer themselves, their body and soul to their Master or Mistress.